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Episode 1: The Oldspaper

Newspaper: Finally. Got All The Contestants I Need!

?: I Said To Do A Camp Not A Show!

Newspaper: Camps Are Too Hard, Now, The Contestants! First Is Clover!

Clover: Hi! I Hope I Make A Lot Of Friends! And With My Luck My Team Will Be Sure To Win!

Newspaper: Next Is Tongue!

Tongue: This Is Going To Be Easy! The Losers Here Will Definitely Lose By A Landslide!

Newspaper: That's What They All Say.

Tongue: Whatever. I'll Make It Far. It's Called Strategies.

Newspaper: Right...Next Is Potato!

Potato: POTATOES!

Newspaper: Wow! I Already Like This New Contestant!

Sparkly: What? That's All He Can Say! I'm The Cutest!

Newspaper: Hey! I Didn't Introduce You Yet!

Sparkly: Well, I Need Some Attention.

Newspaper: And Here Comes Millennium!

Millennium: When's The Challenge, Again?

Newspaper: After The Contestants Showing!

Millennium: Sorry. I LOVE Contests.

Newspaper: Whatever. Next Is Tip Jar!

Tip Jar: Is There Any Cash Lying Around? I WANT MONEY!

Newspaper: Umm...Are You OK?

Tip Jar: Sorry. I Am Addicted To Money.

Newspaper: There's also Scroll!

Scroll: I Got No Time For Chit Chat. I've got A Contest To Win!

Newspaper: And That's Your Personality? Quick And Selfish?

Scroll: It's Called Confidence. Deal With It.

Newspaper: Yeah...Whatever. I'm Not Caring. Next Up Is Puppet!

Puppet: Hi Guys!

Newspaper: That's It? That's all you are going to say?

Puppet: Yes! You Know Me So Well!

Gold Pen: Is This The Right Beach?

Newspaper: Really? We Didn't Interview You Yet!

Gold Pen: Is That A Nickel?

Tip Jar: IT'S MINE!

Newspaper: SHUT UP!

Everyone: ...

Newspaper: Last Is The Page...Is That Really His Name?

The Page: It's Ok Friend! I'm Known As Many Names! Just Call Me Bill!

Newspaper: OK. Time For The Challenge!

Tongue: WHICH IS..?

Gold Pen: ....

Tongue: Hey, What?

Newspaper: It is to find and article insanity character, go!

Clover: Done!

Newspaper: SOMEBODY ELSE!

Clover: You're So Mean!

Newspaper: I'm doing this under my will! What do I do, give out cupcakes?

Clover: Chocalate Please!

Newspaper: NO!

Clover: AXE! HE'S BEING MEAN! Axe? Axe? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAXE!

Newspaper: Yeah, get going.

The Page: Now, who to convince...Potato? Nah. Sparkly? Too obvious. Millen-

Scroll: What do you think you're doing?

The Page: Um...Looking for alliances!

Scroll: I Dunno BUDDY, But I have a game to win, and you're tricks can't fool me!

The Page: Stuff your mouth withs socks or I'll send you to a random multiverse!

Scroll: Make Me, you TRIANGLE LOSER!

Tip Jar: I found cash!

Cashy: Let go of me!

Tip Jar: Are you in article insanity?

Cashy: I Am..? Why do you-

Tip Jar: Come with me!

Potato: potato...

Tip Jar: Muh...Move Over!

Potato: Potato!

Tip Jar: Get out of my...Grrr! Fine! Take her!

Potato: POTATOOOOOOOOOOO!

Puppet: Potato Has Cashy!

Clover: Cashy?

Millenium: I'm getting her!

Sparkly: No, Me!

Newspaper: Who Ever Comes First!

Everyone: MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

(A Bunch Of Fighting Occurs Until Gold Pen Has Him)

Gold Pen: Yay! Here Newspaper!

Newspaper: Hm...she's Cashy.

Cashy: I'm Worth 50 Cents!

Newspaper: Whatever. Gold Pen's Safe. VOTE FOR ANYONE EXCEPT FOR GOLD PEN!

(Almost 3 years later...)

Newspaper: Huh...nobody even thought about voting. That's strange.

Gold Pen: Please...I need food...

Newspaper: How about all contestants vote and you're just safe?

Gold Pen: I've been surviving off rainwater and toenails...how the heck are you still alive?

Newspaper: I'd rather not be specific on how we have been alive, standing on a beach for...let's see...two years.

Gold Pen: Seriously, how-

Newspaper: Anyways, I've decided for everybody to vote. Let's just pretend it hasn't been three years and get on with it.

Gold Pen: Fine...but could I at least have some real food?

Newspaper: No.

(At the convenient voting ceremony)

Newspaper: Welcome everybody to your first voting...ur...ceremony! Let's just call it that...yeah, I'm calling it that. Anyways, it's simple. You all vote for somebody (except for Gold Pen since he has immunity) to be cast out of this beach!

Sparkly: Seems easy enough. Now, I have to ask, does beauty give you bonus points?

Newspaper: You've been stranded on an island for two years, I'm pretty sure you'd be about as sexy as a watermelon.

Sparkly: Watermelons look hot.

Newspaper: I mean the inanimate kind...ugh, just...just vote.

(The Page in voting area)

The Page: Scroll is getting way too close to my area...he's got to go.

(Scroll in voting area)

Scroll: Page is getting way too far to my comfort zone...he has got to leave.

(Clover in voting area)

Clover: I mean, potato is that kind of scientific dumb that doesn't really deserve a beach. Nothing against him, or anything. Also, I do apologize for being off-topic, but I feel like my creator has ditched me...eh, who cares.

(Tip Jar in voting area)

Tip Jar: Obviously, I would put my votes against the darned POTATO! I should have never given him my sacred "Cashy," as she would have won me the challenge. Oh, woe is me.

(Puppet in voting area)

Puppet: I mean, I didn't get to meet everybody, but Tongue was a bit...mean with that "Which is" thing. I vote for him.

(Gold Pen in voting area)

Gold Pen: I'm getting a bit annoyed by potato's...well...constant use of the word potato. It's not professional.

(Potato in voting area)

Potato: Potato!

(Tongue in voting area)

Tongue: Well, that Page guy is creepin' me out, so I'll just vote for him.

(Sparkly in voting area)

Sparkly: If I could describe ugly I'd only have to say the word "potato." Votin' for that ugly thing, for sure.

(Millennium in voting area)

Millennium: Well, I did nothing that challenge but you know who DID do something? That's right; Tip Jar! The hard-worker! Why I outta....

(Back to voting ceremony)

Newspaper: Well, we have our votes. Safe with no votes are Millennium, Clover, Sparkly, Puppet and SHOCKINGLY, Gold Pen...that's sarcasm, at the end there...ahem. Safe with one vote is...well, multiple people. Tip Jar, Scroll and Tongue are all safe with one. Safe with two is The Page, oddly enough. Seriously, you I dislike.

The Page: Hmph. Maybe I should turn your internal object-organs into mush.

Newspaper: Ooh, I'd bet you'd like that. Anyways, by process of elimination you should guess that Potato is out.

Potato: Potato..? Potato...

Clover: Sorry, buddy. But your...potato-ing is just a teeny bit annoying.

Potato: Potato.

Newspaper: Welp, as most object shows, we put eliminated contestants somewhere. In this one we'll...put them...in...

Scroll: You haven't gotten this far, have you?

Newspaper: No, no, I-

?: Ugh, I'll just put him back at home. Be fair and all.

Gold Pen: What was that?

Tip Jar: Sounded like the intercom at a grocery store!

Newspaper: Relax, it's only our creator, Croc22-uh, I mean, SpongebobAtnight.

Tip Jar: SpongebobAtnight? What kind of stupid name is that?

Newspaper: Shut your piehole. Anyways, uh...how to end this, how to end this...I've got it! Puppet, say something witty since you've barely spoken!

Puppet: Alright, um...what do you call a-

Contestants

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